Suicide notes of the un-living
I died today, on a noose imperfect but crafted from my inexperienced hands, I fell today by own hand and I didn’t even leave a note. I perished from my indulgence and own turmoil, it all started a year ago you see when I met her, the crown of all jewels, the tamer of men’s souls. And for every single day after that Crystal would take me for a ride like no other and I would die and live again. She was a gem you see, I picked my poison and she was it.
She showed me the ancient secrets to deep sleep and I lay in wait for her ever ecstatic intoxication. Not once did I feel within my mind while with her, but everything she gave me that would eventually kill me made me feel intensely alive. Today however Crystal Meth demanded an unforeseen order. With my hands as her tool she enchanted me to make the noose of my undoing. She sat idly by and coaxed me, rather dared me to hang. I took my life today, by a noose made from imperfection and forceful glare. Sadly I didn’t even leave a note.
I died last year, but I didn’t even leave a note, I saw her coming you see, the angel of death, she sat by me as the car speed clocked 200, and she smiled. That smile that turns you on and makes you aware that pleasure can be a danger. As my drunken eyes tried to make out the hill cleft ahead, she waved her wand and in an instant I was in her arms, the angel of death, as we glided past the mangled wreckage that was my car and blood and bones. For 16 years the bottle had taken me to a place where I felt safer. For 16 years, I and the bottle had become one, we were young, and we were wild. As the reality hit me that I would leave this world without a note, I shuddered and in that moment I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. I died you see. Sadly I didn’t even leave a note.
We died ten years ago, doped and diluted. Too doped and diluted to realize as the embers turned to flames and engulfed us within them. They told us we would see clearly that we would be awesome, the best high in our lives. We believed them, and as we used all our money to buy the needles and syringes we smiled, in desire to become omnipotent, all seeing and alive. As the needles pricked our skins, as the venom filled our bloodstreams we were all immobile and for a moment we were whisked away into a surreal utopia. Lord but for the life of me, who left his cigarette on? Who was smoking that night? None of us remember… and as the cigarette fell to the floor and a fire was borne we were all too engulfed in our utopia’s to realize as death creeped in amongst us. We died that night, too doped and diluted to know any better. Sadly we didn’t even leave a note.
I died yesterday, but I swear, I don’t regret it, I danced with monsters through the night and it was the best day of my life. I was alone and as the dogs howled and barked at me, I howled and barked back in defiance and they scattered off in cowardice. I howled at the moon then and for a moment I couldn’t even see as the car came crashing in. As the impact severed my spine I was up there, up with the birds. It was still the best day of my life as the LSD coursed through my veins and made me immortal, I was high, higher than I was accustomed to. I died yesterday, but I swear it was the best day of my life. Sadly though I didn’t even leave a note.
Francis the Lone Puppeteer