Campus Nomenclature the fourth
The fourth entry…
Lest we forget that I am indeed the wordsmith of the current pompous campus generation, let me remind you;
Previously on the latest installment of campus nomenclature
I’ve been having a dreary time, so much shit has happened all at once, a longstanding relationship of mine recently ended, I have no regrets though… I was dumped. Damn that sounds sad, but well life is an ass, and were but the flatulence that the ass exhales from it’s a-hole… poetic right?
There are these super-duper words that have been flaring all around campus, damn it seems someone has opened a Pandora’s Box of literal slang and I’m caught in the middle trying to jot it all down so that you never look like an idiot when someone tells you some abrupt shit like
‘Shikilia uzito brathe/madam’
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“Game moja tu iliniwaste”… Kenyan Campus proverb
This is an ancient dialect from the Githurai suburbs, a word which was meticulously drawn from the sacred need to consume food, beautiful twist and meaning. ‘Chips’ is a Kenyan word that refers to sizably cut potatoes, fried in cooking oil and occasionally transformer oil. Chips are a common meal at hotels, bars, clubs, and special joints that sell a special variety of chips namely ‘chips mwitu’. The word Kuchipoiwa is a long standing word, let me explain….
Let’s say you go to a club and you’re busy partying with your friends and all of a sudden this huge mama starts throwing mulofwa glances at you… the kind that make you feel violated. You shrug off this as the alcohol and you add three more Jameson shots just to make sure. An hour later you’re as drunk as a fish and you realize that the unconventional mama is actually quite beautiful… You proceed to her table and complement her authentic hair, meanwhile you’re friends are busy taking pics of you and the lady with their blinding techno flash phones, to make sure the lady is as pretty as you said the next morning, because in real sense none of you can really make out anything valid at the moment.
Back to basics, so you leave with the mama, her left hand on your right buttock as if she’s marking her territory, and you enter a taxi, where you’re taken to Lord knows where to do Lord knows what… dear comrade, colleague, brother you now know what ‘Kuchipoiwa’ means from a practical point of view.
- Dawa ya mende;
Campus students are ingenious and this is what gives me the propensity and ability to write about the many words that they are able to conjure from the depths of their imagination. Now the next term I will not divulge it entirely since my supplier might be arrested or worse, he might stop supplying to me on my low Fridays. All I will say is that this is a type of cookie, that can make you learn the ancient secrets of the Mau-Mau fighters as they conversed in their caves… that can make you last longer in bed… that can make you eat unga and down three glasses of hot water later to make post-ugali in your bowels, that can make you fall from the first floor of a building, fall smack dab on the ground, and then wake up saying that you’re lucky no one saw you. Just remember you didn’t hear it from me…
This word has been over used for the past year, and it is still in use in this year. Apparently this word might be linked to blonde, or the current skin lightening creams being used by socialites every now and then. All I know is being a light skin is a big thing…. In Kenya at least. A light skin will generally mean a lady, or a guy with a light complexion, now there’s nothing wrong with having a light complexion, heck some people like me consider it quite attractive. The problem is the publicity this term has generated in the campus scene for a while. A light skin is a lady that is considered beautiful and attractive and well with the trademark light complexion. However with the lightening creams being sold all over like chewing gums, it is possible by some rare form of genetics to find a lady with a light complexioned face but dark hands and feet… Jesus is alive. Light skins accordingly have been portrayed as a bit dull and naïve… with crude jokes directed at them like for example;
This is something a light skin might say;
“Nasupport Chelsea coz coach wao Wayne Rooney anakuwanga mhandsome.”
In real sense I think it’s unfair to categorize certain people with a unique complexion as stupid… but well that’s how the cookie crumbles.
I’m still jotting down more, have no fear, the puppeteer will always be here.
Francis The lone Puppeteer