Campus Nomenclature the Third

Campus Nomenclature the Third

Good Evening, a lovely Saturday is with us again. I’m quietly seated by the banks of River Chania, Nyeri thinking of a way to make you smile or laugh uncontrollably.

I know in your mind right now you have this image of a serene landscape and the soft moans of a peaceful flowing river. I’m sure you’re envisioning me in an artistic feather hat and a dirt patched leather studded notebook noting down the secrets of nature, but dear reader this is Kenya. This is just a river and the stuff you’re picturing me wearing is some really expensive shit… I digress.

Previously on the campus nomenclature diaries;

Just in case you missed out on part 1 click below

Campus Nomenclature 1

Just in Case you missed out on part 2 click below

Campus Nomenclature Entry 2

On to the matters at hand;

Today I want us to look at some campus language jargon that is intense and easily misunderstood, hopefully by the end of this Campus Nomenclature session you shall be wise in the ways of the average Kenyan Campus student. Shall We?

  1. “Kushikiwa Drink”: This term in the literal sense actually means having a second party hold a drink for you, as literal as that. However in campus we like extenuating meanings to suit our needs and humorous views on life. So for all you geniuses out there this actually means having someone buy you a drink. Alcoholic drink to be more precise. So if someone tells you “Nishikie drink” don’t accept unwittingly. Scratch to reveal the surface.
  2. Kubebwa Ujinga”: (I chuckle, disinterestedly) this in literal sense has no valid meaning but it is a word which is used as many times as assignment in Campus. The term actually means to be hoodwinked, to be run amuck, to be bamboozled, and to be treated like a baby like an ignorant kid, like a freshman, oops sorry I said that, like a first year… much better. Dear reader it’s many a times that an individual will lament that “Amebebwa Ujinga” because well when you’re in campus you will realize that lies have a tendency of becoming a habit, ranging from long overdue debts to detailed mwakenyas and cloned assignments. Thus in the literal aspect the word comes in handy and applies basically. Normally the result of “Kubebwa Ujinga” is retaliation. Some instances of “Kubebwa Ujinga” can be labelled. In the instance that you stay two in a room where you just have one key to the padlock and one of you goes out for a party and leaves you high and dry with no place to rest your head upon then dear reader, “Umebebwa Ujinga.” In the instance that also you agree to do an exam together, this literally means that the two of you decide to sit together during an exam where you shall mutually benefit from each other’s diverse topic knowledge, and then one amongst you double-crosses the other by sitting next to a more prospective individual such as “Choppi wa daro” then dear comrade the pangs of “Kubebwa Ujinga” are still raw on you. If an individual preferably these IT and engineering guys promises that he will subscribe your phone to “data mwitu” let’s say 3 Gb and he goes behind you back and subscribes you to 500 Mb then you have also been “Kubebwa Ujinga” The list is endless and the ways in which an individual can be “bebwad Ujinga” are numerous and hilarious.
  3. Kuuma nje”; this is an interesting one dear reader and its meaning varies and is wide. There are those people who generally ask questions that have literally no sense and meaning. Let me illustrate let’s say an individual calls you at an ungodly hour say at 2 am and asks stupidly “nimekuamsha?” This is an example of a question which should not be answered. Dear reader help me out here, how is it humanely possible for a non-watchman individual to be awake at 2 am, anyway don’t think about this too much. “Kuuma nje” is the art of specializing in being out of topic, in more detail there these people who simply don’t know anything about something but they try too hard to prove otherwise. It is possible to be totally out of topic when you’re in an exam situation, this comes in when you enter an exam room and you skim the entire booklet looking for a familiar word or sentence. You might also think a certain lady is seriously into you only to realize that she is actually into your mad movie collection or worse you’ve been food zoned, handbag zoned, you get the drift, that dear reader is “Kuuma nje.”
  4. Mahututu; let me end on this one for today due to public demand, this is a term that I can say dear reader has affected me directly due to the pre-disposition that my circle of friends has constantly put me in. Mahututu is the campus slang word for pornography. Yes pornography, the word is used continuously when individuals want to secretly communicate with their fellow compatriots about matters of the heart… “Mahututu” The word is also used when communicating about hidden stashes and premium collections. Ok… I’m guessing if I continue on this road I might lose some of you dear readers. I however swore to always be a tool of enlightenment to my fellow campus mates and so if you do hear someone using this term around, wink, and walk away, you’re a genius.

It is always an honor when you take time off your busy weekend or week and read some of the seriously twisted stuff I jot down to keep myself sane and in the hope that my girlfriend will read it and smile too… you see what I did there?

Yours truly,

Francis the Lone Puppeteer

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